The week that I came out of my depression, a few days after I knew He was here with me, I woke up early to make blueberry pancakes for my family on a Friday morning. Now, to understand how out of character this is for me, you have to know that I was the “rush to get out the door in the morning” type of person. I
STRONGLY DISLIKE AM NOT FOND OF Whatever… I HATED mornings. I slept in as long as humanly possible and gave myself minutes to get ready. I also taught my daughter to do the same thing. We were always in a hurry. I was the girl in the car doing her makeup while driving, talking on her cell phone, and sipping a latte. I’m done with that so I’d say sue me, but unless you have video of me doing this prior to August, I’ve given that up (lip gloss doesn’t count). I also did things like make blueberry pancakes. I didn’t make blueberry pancakes because I wanted to give my family a nice breakfast. I made them because I wanted people to know that we were the kind of family that had Blueberry Pancakes for breakfast.
This Friday morning was different. I woke up really early. Like 4am early. After this whole break down thing, my sleep still hadn’t normalized. I tossed and turned for about 15 minutes and decided that it didn’t make sense to toss and turn all morning. I might as well get up. What should I do? Coffee. Coffee first. And then… how about I make blueberry pancakes?! YES!!!
So, I made coffee and I started gathering the materials and ingredients needed to make blueberry pancakes. I stopped. I had some time to kill because I didn’t want to wake the fam up this early, so I let the dog out, threw in some laundry, watched the news. This felt good.
I started writing in my journal and after I was finished, I headed to the kitchen and realized that I am not a huge fan of pouring the batter onto the griddle over and over again for each pancake (I have a skillet pan, not a griddle, it’s called one to two at a time, Ladies, and that takes time). I decided this was a Sunday affair and that I would make muffins. I would make muffins because I wanted to. Not because I wanted to post a photo of it on Facebook. Not because I wanted to rub it in my husbands face later when I needed something to throw in his face. Because I love my family and I thought it would be AWESOME to enjoy BLUEBERRY MUFFINS ON A FRIDAY MORNING. To this day (over a decade with my husband) I don’t believe we had ever had breakfast (sit down breakfast) together during the week. I was excited. to get up and make muffins. What?! I know.