Humpty Dumpty had a Great Fall

It’s been a long week.

9 days

Doesn’t 7 days sound shorter than 168 hours? It’s all in how we look at things.  Perspective. Making a decision to shift our thoughts from negative to positive.

Easier said than done.  Trust me, I know.  When you have started every day of your life believing that Greenland is covered with vast forests or jungles, it’s hard to convince yourself that it’s covered in an ice sheet and that you should pack your Northface and Columbia gear for vacation. Paradigm shifts take time.

greenland

Tuesday

I didn’t get out of bed to get my daughter off to school. After the front door shut, I cried as I stared out the window at her knowing how frigid it was outside. I screamed at myself that I should have kept her inside a few more minutes. I was beating myself up and I knew it. The battle began.

I was not going to let it get the best of me today, Dammit. The tears ran down my cheeks as I stepped into the shower. I made it to my closet to get dressed and sobbed because my fat jeans were tight. Yowsers. The smallest things were ripping my guts out today.

fat jeans

Made a phone call to my mother and cried about how angry I was at depression. Defeat was around the corner and I wanted to turn the other way but my power steering was not functioning.  This was near impossible. I called my husband and cried some more.  Heavens to Betsy!  It was beating me and I was pissed.

The minute I hung up with my husband, I knew I was going to fight harder. I began to mentally plan my morning checklist. I went to the fridge to grab a beverage and proceeded to somehow knock a carton of eggs on to the floor. A half dozen cracked humpty dumptys had a great fall and messed up my whole f’ing plan.  I wasn’t about to waste my energy putting those SOB’s back together so I tore off a few sheets of Mr. Brawny, and cleaned up the eggs while simultaneously yelling at them. I suited up in my winter coat and depression a$$kicking armor, and I started my car. Depression 4, Me 1.

egg

By the time I pulled out of the garage, I knew I had to beat today.  I pulled into Caribou and treated myself to a vanilla white mocha and I was off to slay some zombies.

As I completed each task through out the day, I grew stronger. By 3PM, I had accomplished all I had set out to do and came home to unload the groceries. I felt empowered. I kicked depression a$$ on Tuesday. This felt better than jumping from the brick staircase to the top of the flag-post in Super Mario. Who needs 5000 points when you have family and friends there to celebrate your victory in the arena with you?

mario

Tuesday, in an epic game of Battleship –  Depression vs. Me

I sunk that sucker’s battleship. Boooooyah.

battleship

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Humpty Dumpty had a Great Fall

  1. When you are feeling depression come on again re-read this post and remind yourself of it’s temporary nature. Allow yourself to make your own decisions and to control your emotions. When I get into a slump I always replay in my mind, it’s only for now. It will be better tomorrow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s