It’s been a long week.
Doesn’t 7 days sound shorter than 168 hours? It’s all in how we look at things. Perspective. Making a decision to shift our thoughts from negative to positive.
Easier said than done. Trust me, I know. When you have started every day of your life believing that Greenland is covered with vast forests or jungles, it’s hard to convince yourself that it’s covered in an ice sheet and that you should pack your Northface and Columbia gear for vacation. Paradigm shifts take time.
I didn’t get out of bed to get my daughter off to school. After the front door shut, I cried as I stared out the window at her knowing how frigid it was outside. I screamed at myself that I should have kept her inside a few more minutes. I was beating myself up and I knew it. The battle began.
I was not going to let it get the best of me today, Dammit. The tears ran down my cheeks as I stepped into the shower. I made it to my closet to get dressed and sobbed because my fat jeans were tight. Yowsers. The smallest things were ripping my guts out today.
Made a phone call to my mother and cried about how angry I was at depression. Defeat was around the corner and I wanted to turn the other way but my power steering was not functioning. This was near impossible. I called my husband and cried some more. Heavens to Betsy! It was beating me and I was pissed.
The minute I hung up with my husband, I knew I was going to fight harder. I began to mentally plan my morning checklist. I went to the fridge to grab a beverage and proceeded to somehow knock a carton of eggs on to the floor. A half dozen cracked humpty dumptys had a great fall and messed up my whole f’ing plan. I wasn’t about to waste my energy putting those SOB’s back together so I tore off a few sheets of Mr. Brawny, and cleaned up the eggs while simultaneously yelling at them. I suited up in my winter coat and depression a$$kicking armor, and I started my car. Depression 4, Me 1.
By the time I pulled out of the garage, I knew I had to beat today. I pulled into Caribou and treated myself to a vanilla white mocha and I was off to slay some zombies.
As I completed each task through out the day, I grew stronger. By 3PM, I had accomplished all I had set out to do and came home to unload the groceries. I felt empowered. I kicked depression a$$ on Tuesday. This felt better than jumping from the brick staircase to the top of the flag-post in Super Mario. Who needs 5000 points when you have family and friends there to celebrate your victory in the arena with you?
Tuesday, in an epic game of Battleship – Depression vs. Me
I sunk that sucker’s battleship. Boooooyah.