Do you ever question your illness? Blame yourself? Think that you should be able to fight harder or that you just need to toughen up and be positive, snap out of it?
All of these conversations about what we should be doing to get well…they pile up and create a sense of responsibility for the illness.
If we did all of the things they recommend, we’d be okay, right? Don’t they know we’ve tried it all? I’ve used all of my wishes, too!
I know that people mean well and they just want to see us get better, but it can create an idea that we are responsible for our suffering. Sure, there are practices that will help us to improve our odds, but in no way does that mean it’ll heal us. That’s like saying, if you would just TRY a little harder, your diabetes, your broken leg <insert any disease or ailment here> would be healed. You can’t think the cancer away.
It doesn’t work that way. If it did, do you really believe that we would want to wake up like this every day?
C’mon, Man. Nobody wants to be depressed. Nobody wants to wake up feeling defeated and knowing that your biggest accomplishment that day will be getting out of bed to use the restroom. The mania – choosing to spend your life savings on a Mall of America shopping spree, trying more drugs than Keith Richards, cheating on another girlfriend or boyfriend, yelling at another family member for something as stupid as breathing too loud. Some of those things may seem fun for a moment, but the repercussions ruin lives.
So. Am I alone in this? Do you start believing these things on occasion? Beating yourself up for your illness? Trying to blame yourself for your diagnosis? Do you start believing that if you could only “think positive” that you would be healed?
Tell me about it….please.